Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
