Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just google imaged poop.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Drunk is not a location!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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