Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
