too bad you live with your parents still
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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