new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I enjoy the company of your penis
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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