Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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