if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
