Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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