I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
