Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
