Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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