I think my fart just growled at me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
