Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
