Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm just crazy horny about you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?