Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(251): View more from Alabama

i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once

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(970): View more from Colorado

you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

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(682): View more from Texas

I plan on gettn treatment center drunk

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.

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(316): View more from Kansas

Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon

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(440): View more from Ohio

I think the pizza guy was in shock..

(216): View more from Ohio

Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS

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