Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends

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  (651): my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing! (651): I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends http://tfl.nu/p5go
  Replies (5) Good night (838) Bad night (1944)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell

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  (704): When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell http://tfl.nu/rk2d
  Replies (9) Good night (3444) Bad night (776)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

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  (413): I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets. http://tfl.nu/8b9j
  Replies (11) Good night (5577) Bad night (1394)
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  (+91): View more from India

  Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.

  (+91): View more from India

  what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?

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  (+91): Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step. (+91): what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her? http://tfl.nu/u7i2
  Replies (11) Good night (752) Bad night (2281)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.

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  (412): thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out. http://tfl.nu/825u
  Replies (14) Good night (3746) Bad night (892)
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  (310): View more from California

  I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.

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  (310): I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet. http://tfl.nu/z51s
  Replies (15) Good night (7923) Bad night (997)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.

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  (315): I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen. http://tfl.nu/w329
  Replies (4) Good night (2118) Bad night (1116)
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  (518): View more from New York

  You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them

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  (518): You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them http://tfl.nu/vo2h
  Replies (13) Good night (2661) Bad night (745)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor

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  (253): don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor http://tfl.nu/wvuf
  Replies (9) Good night (1666) Bad night (576)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.

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  (513): Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/71lv
  Replies (2) Good night (1061) Bad night (532)
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  (323): View more from California

  Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend

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  (323): Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend http://tfl.nu/fcuo
  Replies (3) Good night (806) Bad night (470)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)

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  (386): Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight) http://tfl.nu/otp9
  Replies (0) Good night (978) Bad night (394)
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  (831): View more from California

  I won't be able to get a boner for a month

  (916): View more from California

  Challenge accepted.

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  (831): I won't be able to get a boner for a month (916): Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/ivke
  Replies (3) Good night (1411) Bad night (461)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds

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  (609): I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds http://tfl.nu/e8hx
  Replies (4) Good night (626) Bad night (343)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  You cant use biscuit as a chaser

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  (478): You cant use biscuit as a chaser http://tfl.nu/ones
  Replies (2) Good night (291) Bad night (150)

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