Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She's the barista slut.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0