i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
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My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
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Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS