Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.

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  (952): I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it. http://tfl.nu/soz7
  Replies (3) Good night (1142) Bad night (405)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  k i'll be over in 5.

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  (480): just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds. (1-480): i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice. (480): k i'll be over in 5. http://tfl.nu/rkxl
  Replies (101) Good night (14625) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?

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  (608): This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form? http://tfl.nu/l7lr
  Replies (108) Good night (1366) Bad night (4758)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  we're making bets on your personal life

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  (603): we're making bets on your personal life http://tfl.nu/b50k
  Replies (14) Good night (4022) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.

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  (307): We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives. http://tfl.nu/qq5e
  Replies (22) Good night (4484) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.

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  (732): He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year. http://tfl.nu/lez5
  Replies (27) Good night (3059) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.

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  (516): You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food. http://tfl.nu/5019
  Replies (20) Good night (3391) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.

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  (512): He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips. http://tfl.nu/61sy
  Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

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  (914): We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo. http://tfl.nu/ouwj
  Replies (25) Good night (4196) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends

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  (517): I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends http://tfl.nu/sky7
  Replies (4) Good night (1358) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.

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  (+44): i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life. http://tfl.nu/b0wt
  Replies (6) Good night (954) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?

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  (402): Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge? http://tfl.nu/w4hy
  Replies (2) Good night (508) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.

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  (801): She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch. http://tfl.nu/gwk7
  Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.

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  (716): BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet. http://tfl.nu/90zb
  Replies (0) Good night (396) Bad night (185)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...

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  (704): So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around... http://tfl.nu/dav9
  Replies (0) Good night (595) Bad night (173)

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