it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
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Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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