You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
