I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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