i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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