Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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