I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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