Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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