i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
