He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
