i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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