Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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