Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
being pregnant is like rehab
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
