I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
