Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
