Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
