I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Randomize
