I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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