Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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