Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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