too bad you live with your parents still
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
