Your tits are I can't wait for
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Naked. naked and bneed help.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
