you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
