She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
