i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Randomize
