i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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