and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
