It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
