If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
