I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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