I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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