words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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