She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Randomize
