Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
