Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
