dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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