Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
