THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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