I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
