White coat. Heels.
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
