this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
