Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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