Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
