she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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