I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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