I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
