Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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